Jung Tsai
We, the baby boomers, are the fortunate generation not only living longer but also witnessing many great events in the world compared to the one before us. While I am writing a book (how to Live to a Happy Centennial) to help with the fundraising for the Ukraine Medical Mission I realize the aging issue is not merely the science of biological chemistry molecules. It involves an emotional and vigorous thought process of passing time.
My first memory of becoming a senior was when I was standing on the Taipei subway train when someone gave me his seat. I looked around, my hair was not yet gray, my status was solid, nonetheless, I took it. And also wherever I went people called me Ozesan.
Being a senior like everyone else I feel that time is running faster than I used to experience. Psychiatry says it is a perception as time speed remains the same. The analog I can think of is toilet paper rolls. When we are toward the end of our life like the end of paper rolls it goes fast. While we physically slow down our activities, the world is speeding up relatively. When we were young there were so many things waiting for us to do. As we look back so many first-time things stand up: first bicycle rides, first-swim, first jobs, first dating, and first kiss. Now, there is not much fresh first for us to do. No wonder we felt bored. What we could do is to reach out of our box and find something new like volunteer or join our Ukraine Medical Mission. Keep learning with effort, expand your horizons and time will expand to meet you.
We need also to redefine our identity. Rethinking Change from a young age to the current situation is a wise step forward. People are not listening to us anymore, including our adult children. Where we are now/ today/present is the most important thing to recognize. Once in a while looking back on the good past is a-okay but don’t indulge in it. Once in a while planning and imagining the future is acceptable. But, the ultimate goal and ideal are the moment-to-moment when and where we are. Enjoy the present and make the most out of it.
Get rid of the house. It is too big and too much empty space for us to take care of and maintain. I know many people didn’t even open their pool. Those who did open told me the only one to go in was the dog. Your Kids and grandchildren are not coming back. And don’t move into their house as that will create tension. A good relationship will surely be ruined. Remember we used to call the shot. Not anymore! we relinquish that power. But we still remember we instilled value in them and wanted them to stand up alone if necessary to the authority, to the unfairness and injustice. We should be proud of them when they stand up against us as they have views different from what we attained, be it a household issue, educating the grandkids, or even politics. When the time comes, moving to assist home care would be the right decision because they can meal you and transport you when you need it and keep your pride and independence with your new peers.
Adept seniors should be able to adopt new ways of conversation in their adapted frontier. If we cannot say anything admirable or nice we better say nothing at all. That said, it doesn’t have to sweep every hurt feeling under the rug as it will contaminate and explode someday. Albeit to moderate our tone and not be judgmental and critical. Simply put we should not be unfathomable.
Money is one of the most important matters in a relationship. There is an old saying if your children need your money they don’t deserve it. If they deserve your money they don’t need it. Save it enough and be comfortable for yourself and then sufficiently and adequately for them and education funds for grandkids when you leave this world. Better yet, give it out earlier as the overly excess estate will only be for them to get a new sports car or fancy trips you would never have dreamed of. Give them yearly without incurring gift-tax. And give something charitable and meaningful to leave a legacy. “Put a dent in the universe.” Steve Jobs used to say.
Religion and spirituality search become more crucial to us. Believers are all based on the culture of faith. On the other hand, Science stands on the culture of doubt. It is no longer to see is to believe but rather It is to believe is to see. Faith, Hope, and Love are essential to us to arrive at balance and harmony.
Buy, read, and practice my book to help you negotiate the happiness, health, fitness, and self-image of your love life and immortality.
Finally, life is indeed a journey. At this stage, we will experience the loss of our friends, our intimate family members, and even partially our ability to care for ourselves. However, we are strong, resilient and we can and will cope when loss does come. It is comforting to know they were people who came before us and future generations who will come after. Good luck to all of us, me included!